The Lord has had me in His hands from before I was born... this I know and trust. He knows what's best for me, and He has orchestrated my life from the end to the beginning. I am fully a child of God.
That being said, I'm a bit scared at this point of my life. I have been "freelancing" for over 4 years now, and the work has been sporadic at best. The churches and companies I've worked with have scattered needs of me, and there hasn't been a time when I have been without income for months at a time. Take right now, for example. I haven't had a paying gig since late July. I know the Lord has done that for a reason, simply because He knew Ben would be away from August through October, and knew I would need to go and see him for both his and my own sanity.
I've been fortunate as of late to have two interviews lined up on the same day. That is unheard of for me. I went to the first today, and was pleasantly received, and over qualified, which is more the norm than the exception. I would do well in either of these jobs, and have full confidence in that. But going from "zero" to "full time" within a few weeks has me nervous. I know I can do it, but to go back to the "office" full time makes me uncomfortable. I've grown LAZY. I don't get up before 9 most mornings. I wear an eye mask so the sun doesn't disturb my sleep! SAD! I know, you can say it...
What I'm hoping for is the grace and courage to step forward in whatever the Lord deems fit for me at this point in my life. I know He's been grooming me for something greater than what I've been doing. I just don't know what yet. But, that's where faith comes into play. I have the faith to wait on God and to step out into the unknown in faith, so that I can be a blessing to Him and to whomever it is I will be working for. I have a good chance at both jobs - the last time I applied to tomorrow's company I was THIS CLOSE. The only reason I didn't get it was because an internal candidate surfaced. BUMMER. But, like I said, the Lord knows.
Pray for me during this time. I will be leaving again for London October 1-13. That moves into the time frames for today's interview, but probably not tomorrow's. They were fine with my dates at today's interview, so I think I'm all set, but you never know. That could be the very reason I don't get the job. I can say I'm confident in whatever comes to me... but at the same time, to step into it is unnerving.
Please pray that I have the courage and strength to get through this last leg of Ben's time away, and for the same as I approach the possibility of being a full time employee. I'm grateful for your support and prayers!
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