Alone...

Well this sucks. I've hit a wall here with being alone and it's only a week into the 85 days that this garbage will continue. Ben is working hard, partying hard (as of tonight), and getting the hang of being a single man in a different country. He says he's a migrant working now, and it's true. For now.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Christy seems to have been stricken with a deep loneliness that she's trying to fill. Days are long, nights are long... working around the house is important but the funds for doing so are limited (as of now). Altering our lifestyle to accommodate this venture seems daunting, and I'm not feeling the love at this point. Ben's company has yet to get their shit straight when it comes to monetary compensation, so I'm having to add $ to the accounts from our savings to accommodate during the 'gray area' time frame. UGH. Can you just hear me saying UGH!?

The cats are my responsibility, so are the house chores that need attending to during the good months of our year. That leaves me with little wiggle room, and a plan of attack as Ben gets paid. I hate wasting good weather days because of no funding but this is the way it's working out. All I can do is what I can do... sighing.

I am happy to let you all know that I am filling my days as best I can, seeing friends, painting the house, cleaning out kitchen cabinets, and all of that. It's a grueling life, but what else can I do? I seem to have a knack for waking up late and not wanting to accomplish much. I'm forced to do certain things but the majority of the time I'm looking at life going "what the hell will I do today?!"

I have rescues and volunteer work I could be doing. I have a new freelance account, but to be honest, I'm afraid my work won't be accepted as "good enough" compared to Ben's, which was what this company has been used to. I try... that's all I can do. If they don't like what I give, I guess they'll eliminate me from the equation.

Gotta run - there's someone who actually wants me to come visit! Be blessed my friends! Life has quirks that can be difficult, but there's always a bright day in the waiting (not promised by God, but you know what I mean)...