Seasons...

Fall is a magical time in this part of the world. The crisp sunny mornings, leaves gliding and spinning all around... the smell of the air is one of my favorite things. If I think too long about it, I'm reminded of what comes next. It seems everyone, even though they've been a resident of this part of the country all their lives, dreads the cold snowy months that are all too soon approaching us. The holidays bring a sense of solitude, and can help overcome the dreariness of the weather, but then there's the long January through March that seems to never end.

Seasons in life are part of what makes life what it is... a journey. Not just the weather, but our lives and all that they're made up of. Daily rituals, routines, work, responsibilities... ups and downs... sudden stops. We can approach these with the same dread as we do winter, or we can take a day at a time. The Lord only gives us strength for the day we're in, and I have a hard time remembering that. My strength is often sapped by the thoughts of what tomorrow, next month, or beyond has in store for me. Without a routine to keep my mind in order, there are moments of utter overwhelming dread.

I don't know if moving to a more consistent climate would help my mental seasons become more even, but somehow I'd like to try it. Life is tough up here half the year... sunless days... darkness... cold... it drains the joy out of me.

Right now I'm realizing my mess, and would like to find an answer... waiting is beyond unbearable some days. The urgency of time passing, seasons changing, and life becoming more difficult looms in the distance. Prayer is the answer, but I can't keep my mind from wandering into the doubts and troubles that always squirm their way into my quiet time. I need prayer, knowing that God has the answers I seek. Wouldn't it be lovely if, for some reason, everything suddenly fell into place and life became a warm blanket of safety and security - filled with everything happy and right? That's when I go mentally into Jesus' arms... imagine the peace there. I know I have friends who don't feel the same way I do, but I also have friends who do... and I'm grateful for my faith based circle who continue to keep me in prayer. I do pray for you as well. I try, at least. Thank you for your friendship... it makes a difference in me.